DATING LIKE A BOSS

CHAPTER 3 - CONTINUED

DEFINING WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN YOUR DATING JOURNEY

6. Role of attraction and chemistry physical vs emotional attraction
How chemistry fits into what you want
The law of physics is dwarfed when it comes to relationships, what apply is Chemistry. Have you ever heared of the word "crush"? A "crush" in the context of love refers to a strong feeling of infatuation or attraction towards someone, often experienced during childhood or adolescence. Adolescents are not marriage candidates, children don't get married they wait until they are fully matured and capable to handle issues that come with adulthood. What does this tell you? Among other things you learn is that you cannot make life-long decisions based on a "crush". It looks like crushes are meant for jokes of love affairs. The key word is jokes. A joke is a joke nothing less nothing more. It's a type of romantic love that may not be deeply rooted or long-lasting. According to a dictionary definition, a crush is a feeling of romantic love that is usually not expressed and doesn't last a long time. Since that feeling doesn't last for a long time, it means you cannot build anything permanent upon it. It is a base for jokes.

Characteristics of a Crush:
Intense but potentially fleeting:
Crushes can feel very intense, but they often fade away quickly as you get to know the person better. Clearly you cannot make permanent decisions based on a crush. A crush can be triggered by physical attraction, a specific personality trait, or simply the novelty of a new person.

May involve idealization: You might focus on the positive aspects of the person and overlook their flaws or imperfections. Can be a source of excitement and anxiety: A crush can be thrilling and exhilarating, but also cause feelings of nervousness and insecurity.

Differences between a crush and love
Depth:
Love is generally considered a deeper, more profound emotion than a crush. It involves a greater understanding of the other person, including their flaws and vulnerabilities. Love tends to be more enduring than a crush, which can fade relatively quickly.

Focus:
A crush can be self-centered, focusing on what you want from the other person. Love, on the other hand, is more selfless and involves a desire for the other person's happiness.

Can a Crush Become Love? Yes, it's possible for a crush to evolve into love, particularly if the initial infatuation is followed by a deeper connection and understanding. However, it's also possible for a crush to remain a crush, or even fade away entirely.

7. Avoiding external influences
Societal, family, peer pressures
When dating as a Christian and aiming to avoid external influences such as societal, family, and peer pressures, it is important to intentionally set your own values and boundaries rooted in your faith. Here are key guidance points to help you navigate dating with integrity and spiritual focus:


Know your worth in Christ:
Remember that your value doesn't come from external approval or relationship status but from being a child of God. This mindset helps you resist pressures to conform to worldly or cultural dating norms that may rush or shallow your experience.

Set clear boundaries:
Establish physical, emotional, spiritual, and communication boundaries that align with your faith. This includes maintaining purity, guarding your heart, and being clear about your relationship intentions early on with your partner. Boundaries help you honor God and protect your well-being.

Prioritize spiritual connection:
Focus on building a relationship centered on shared faith, mutual respect, and growth in Christ rather than physical attraction or societal expectations. Consider dating with intention and patience, allowing the relationship to develop naturally without rushing.

Surround yourself with Support:
Seek accountability and encouragement from trusted Christian friends, mentors, and church leaders who understand your values and can provide biblical perspective. This supportive community can help you resist peer pressures, family demands, or societal influences that conflict with your faith.

Communicate openly:
Be honest about your beliefs and intentions with your dating partner and those around you. Clear communication helps prevent misunderstandings and shows that you are committed to honoring God in your relationship.

Seek God's guidance:
Maintain a strong personal relationship with God through prayer and scripture. Ask for wisdom, strength, and discernment to navigate difficult situations and remain true to your convictions.

Move at your own pace:
Don't let others rush you into decisions about your relationship. Wait on God’s timing and be patient. This helps avoid mistakes and builds a strong foundation for lasting love.

Reject worldly norms:
Resist societal pressures that promote instant gratification, superficial connections, or compromise of Christian values. Instead, embrace a dating approach that honors God, fosters emotional and spiritual depth, and reflects biblical principles.


By following these biblical and practical principles, you can date in a way that honors God and protects your heart from external pressures, leading to healthier and more fulfilling relationships rooted in Christian faith.

8. Tools and exercises to define what you want
- Journaling and self-reflection
- Vision boards and ideal partner profiles
- Conversations and feedback from trusted friends

9.Communicating your wants effectively
- Articulating your desires in dating scenarios
- Setting boundaries and being authentic
- Handling conflicts around differing expectations

10. Being open to growth and change
- Understanding that wants evolve over time
- Remaining flexible without compromising core values

11. Conclusion
- Recap of the importance of clarity
Clarity must be paired with communication. Practicing authentic, clear conversations about your wants fosters transparency and respect. Setting boundaries is key—this includes communicating deal-breakers and needs clearly. Handling conflicts through open dialogue ensures alignment is maintained or respectfully recognized when absent. fining what you really want when dating is a journey that begins with deep self-knowledge and honest reflection. It empowers you to pursue relationships that fulfill your emotional and practical needs while honoring your values. This intentionality reduces frustration, enhances connection, and leads to more rewarding romantic experiences. By taking deliberate steps to clarify and communicate your desires, you create space for authentic love to flourish. If you want, I can help expand any section further or help you prepare a formatted document for easy reading. Would you like that?

DATING LIKE A BOSS!!!

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Relationships should be marked by purity and mutual respect, as outlined in 1 Timothy 5:1-2